Weekend Postcards : Miracle Sunday

“Chocolate Milk and Whales In Ice”

Every week I’m on CHAMPS duty is a Miracle Sunday for me. This Sunday was no exception. Thank God for my CHAMPS team- I couldn’t have asked for a better team (okay, so I could. But the fact that they were assigned to me makes it more the more miraculous). Granted, Andrew was missing and I forgot to remind Su Ann to come- but I had super-dependable Wan Ling and on-the-fly stoic Ken Han. The kids were as well behaved as they could physically be. Principal Carol had to threaten detention and I had to ply them with Cheap Plastic Gifts. My teachers were oblivious about the short-staffing and so incredibly calm about our under-preparation. They rock.

Teacher Wan Ling gave a powerpoint presentation on the Bible Story for the day in her ‘stone’ (and I quote Ken Han here) voice. The remarkable thing was the kids remembered every detail of the long narration when I needed to refer to the lesson plan to ask them review questions after. Have I told you lately that Teacher Wan Ling rocks harder than a Gwen Stefani concert? (I think she’s having exams or something, even.)

I have never seen Teacher Ken Han give a more inspired Object Lesson. Chocolate milk and clear plastic cups- tied into a lesson about giving more praise to God that even *I* can understand. While I was in the PA box panicking about the next segment (which was- well, nothing); I could hear Ken Han’s voice tense up slightly. Looking up, I saw Senior Pastor Joshua (*dum dum dahh*) grinning like a loon from the back of the hall. Y’know, that goofy grin he has when he’s overly pleased about something. The only thing scarier than having Pastor Josh dropping in on you is to have Deputy Senior Pastor Carey watching you teach. Teacher Ken Han was flawless. You go, bro!

I didn’t mean to, but somewhere in between asking review questions and giving them Cheap Plastic Gifts I started talking about whales, holes in the ice and the open ocean. It was the second Object Lesson I’d read but didn’t understand. I wasn’t thinking about what to say next, it was more like - ‘dude, what the heck am I talking about?’ The words just flowed and I made the most amazing allegory about praise and worship every Sunday like a breath of air for the soul until we reach the open ocean and exist in a state of open worship. Never in my life have I had words so profound and powerful come out of my mouth. It was so good I almost cried. There is no way in all of creation that those words came out of me. Probably the closest thing to an out-of-body experience that I’d ever have.

Lydia came down from her Mini-CHAMPS just in time for me to assign game team leaders for ‘Team Flydia’ and ‘Team Fen Han’. Team Fen Han had the obvious lead with thirteen Bible-Carriers to Team Flydia’s nine. ‘Course, the fact that Teacher Fen Han’s team was twice the size of Teacher Flydia’s group had something to do with it. We all made paper airplanes and the objective was to see whose plane flew furthest. The glaring flaw in that game was- firstly, the lack of space we had to throw th’ planes. Secondly, that they’d run to the front screaming like kamikaze pilots to throw said planes at us point blank. I crouched down screaming, “Not the face! Not the face!” Thank God I was wearing two layers of clothing. I think I have tiny pock-marked bruises on my back.
Ah, who cares about order? I threw my hands up in defeat and let ‘em run wild. After all, they’d been so incredibly good today. I’d survived another Sunday lock-down with a hall full of First Service CHAMPS Kids- I went where lesser mortals feared to tread. My liver is safe for another week from those little savages. Life is good. This feeling is what keeps me coming back week after week, year after year. Nothing like it.

“Noisiest row dismisses last! Straighten your chairs in 10…9…8…” I didn’t even have to keep the Standard 4 Boys for our weekly ‘Special Care Group’ detention. *sigh* Life is so good.

Snapshots and Thoughts To Keep Forever

~ My first thought on entering the Hall : ‘The kids outnumber us twenty-to-one, but as long as they don’t know that, we should be fine.’

~ Weldon going ‘aieeeee!’ in the highest-pitch scream I’d heard from a boy and throwing paper planes at me point blank. He’d throw ‘em, pick ‘em up from the floor and throw them again with alarming swiftness. It feels like being repeatedly poked in the back with tiny fingers.

~ “Why? Why you don’t come teach us anymore?” From Heather in Mini-CHAMPS and a few other kids from Second-Service CHAMPS. My heart just melted and I gave my standard answer- “Because you all so naughty I scared of you already.”

~ Timothy the Tiny Ten-Year-Old Terror waving his arm at me frantically all throughout Question Time although he didn’t know the answers. I gave him Cheap Plastic Gifts anyway. It gives me the fuzzies to realize that he’d been sooo incredibly good- he hardly ran about at all.

~ Note : Teacher Fen Han owes the kids a 3-minute dance. Maybe he can do the Cha-Cha Song with Teacher ‘Hey, Mr Naidu’ Flydia.

~ I want a T-shirt that says- “I Am a First-Service CHAMPS Teacher. (If you see me running, try to keep up!)” or “Second-Service CHAMPS Teachers Are Wusses.” (of course, the latter would get me beaten up by people on a regular basis)

~ A tiny PDsode : *gasp* Joey is sooooo cute! Such a big girl now! I MISS THE MINI-CHAMPS!!

~ Seven-year-old Eunice passing about a small jar of raspberry-flavored lip balm. Nuff sed.

~ While we were counting Bible-Carriers, I had a matter-of-fact conversation with the Standard One Girls about brushing your lips when you brush your teeth because lipstick looks bad on chapped dry lips. So, Jaimes- if your little sister starts brushing her lips, you now know its my fault.

~ Thank you Teacher Flydia for helping. We’ll get a “I Teach BOTH First & Second Service CHAMPS. So There.” for you.

~ My CHAMPS class – Its almost as good as seeing the lame walk and the blind receive sight.

~ Final thoughts : Dude, not me. Just Him.