Yay! Holidays are coming up. Going to camp... which Ange is not going to. (gruk glares sullenly at the general direction of TARC) I'm pretty psyched tho'. Seems like a good way to escape for a while... I've been wanting that since last year.

Holidays are coming up and the stress is increasing. I don't really see why people love th' hols so much. I tolerate it, though I can't say I like the tension that seems to accompany it. Mother gets awfully pissed about something or other while Married Brother and Wife does a dangerous dance with certain death trying to juggle between both families- his and hers. My mom is naturally unrelenting, wanting my bro to stay home. He, on the other hand wants nothing more than to make everyone happy whilst trying not to give in too much. They relent at last and get awfully unhappy and discomfited. Mother pretends to be satisfied with whatever arrangement they've cooked up (she really isn't)- and end up terrorizing the household. Everyone treads on eggshells until the hols are over. We start breathing again on the 29th. Take that down on your calenders. I'll be holding my breath til then. (Yup, and this is as close to how I'd get to bitching about my obviously dysfunctional family events)

Thank God for camp! Freedom!

Merry Christmas, all.

eurgh. monday blues... for some reason, th' weekend didn't seem complete. hmm.

got into my 'new job' today. its th' old one, but they've 'upgraded' me from SuperTemp!Grac to Receptionist/Telemarketer/SCC Supervisor/Data Entry Dude!Grac. Basically the same thing I've been doing the past six months except now I'm doing receptionist duties as well. I don't get paid enough. it's blah, but its a job. I don't much care what I do now, as long as it doesn't interfere with college. At least it seems 'permanant'- which means I don't have to worry about scrambling for another job to pay for my lifestyle expenses. contentment, complacency. ahh.

read ange's blog- she mentioned something about what she would do with her life and it got me thinking. i try not to think about the fact that i'm presently "doing nothing with my life". if i were to really sit down and evaluate, my main thought would be- "is this all that is?" Dissatisfaction sets in and I just get freaked for a split second. Optimistically, I'm in a 'phase' where my dreams are not yet realised. Maybe one day, after my studies, I'll be a Superstar and be Successful. But that's all just bullshit. Reality is this- if I don't get moving NOW- I'll still be where I am despite having several degrees.

I know all this with my head, I know it also with my heart. Why aren't I doing anything about it?

this is for ange who thinks i don't already have a blog

yes nee, i'm humouring you. but there's no way in living heck i'd tell you where the other one is... although amongst all our mutual friends, you'd be the only one who would be able to find out. and rox, but she'd be too lazy to go search.

so... first blog. very important to set tone for entire weblog- not. me is too darned lazy to even try to promise to update as frequently as i can. i have like 7 other weblogs which suffer the same fate of abandonment. will write down thoughts when i feel like it then