Warning / Disclaimer : Episode 7 of Lessons. Sap/Kleenex Alert. I am not responsible if you feel squicked after reading this post. You probably asked for it. Hah. Serves you right.
“Everything’s gonna be alright.”
There was a birthday party in my house. I am not very fond of having birthday parties and I’m none-too-crazy about birthdays either. Think about it- what are you *really* celebrating? The miracle of birth is just too squicky when it involves me, regardless of whether I’m the birther or birthee. Nevertheless, I am thankful that my mother passed me through her birth canal rather successfully. Congratulations all ‘round- happy birthday, me. Woo. But I digress, there is just something indefinable about birthdays that make me solemn and introspective. (And it not the issue of aging, either.)
Anyhow, as I was saying- there I was preparing for this big birthday bash of mine in my introspective mood and close to tears (I really didn’t know why). Chan Foong Yee arrived and told me that Red was on her way. It was like a palpable weight off my shoulders and I was instantly relieved, thinking “Red’s coming. Everything is going to be okay now.” I was soon swamped with the stress of entertaining, preparing food and getting into truly heart-breaking arguments with family members- all this whilst crying like crazy in front of everybody. I mean, there were tears and snot running about unchecked and I was practically wailing. I actually cried myself awake (and I’m truly glad this has happened to me only twice in my life). The dream was just so upsetting that I was still crying softly, bewilderedly wiping at the tears. The details escaped me, but the emotions did not. Right then, all I could recall was that dream!Red was on her way and that she would make everything alright.
“Boy, I wish I could call her”
If something bad happens to me or I get into trouble- mouth dry, heart thumping, stomach in throat; all I gotta do is think “Boy, I wish I could call Red and tell her” and I’d feel better immediately (well, eventually). I’d calm down slightly and laugh at how she’d probably call me an idiot and we would proclaim it ‘The Worst Day Of My Life’ or ‘The Stupidest Thing I’ve Ever Done’. Sometimes, its ‘The Stupidest Thing I’ve Ever Done On The Worst Day Of My Life’. That’s a big one and usually requires at least two hours of being cussed out and eventually being teased over it till I laugh. If something great happens to me or I see something that makes me happy, I’d itch to call her as well to share the joy. The happy event becomes euphoric just by thinking about calling and telling her. Not that she’d be in fits of delight or ecstasies. More often than not, she’d just grunt at my tale and go “so desu ka?”
It’s funny. Judging by my Raving of Red, you must think we speak daily, do you not? Heh. Sorry to disappoint, but we hardly speak or even see each other online with any sort of frequency, if at all. Our phone calls to each other are mostly long periods of silence, but we try not to do it so much anymore. We met in secondary school but were never in the same classes or sports house- we suspect the teachers must have had a hand in this. The only reason why I signed up for softball was so that we could at least be in the same club before our final year. And that one afternoon a week of tossing the dumb ball back and forth for hours was our idea of doing something fun together. Actually, I think the only picture we have together is that grainy tiny-assed Kelab Softball photo in the school magazine. I don’t recall taking any other pictures together, do you? And you call yourself a photographer. Hello? Willing best friend model here!
College meant Subang Taipan for Red and smackdab downtown K-Hell for me- opposite sides of the universe. We’ve only ever watched two or three movies together (Mousehunt and Stuart Little, can you believe it?) I’ve been to her house six times and had dinner there once. She’s been to minea million more than six times and stayed over twice. We watched Disney’s Hunchback on my cr*p VCR once, remember? We can go to Starbucks and sit for hours without talking. Dumb movies and coffee seem to be the only two reasons we go out, doesn’t it? Oh yeah. Of late, we’ve been going out for drinking sessions that once ended up with us so drunk we sat on the kaki lima of Bangsar somberly confessing our eternal loyalty for each other and our deepest, darkest fears. LOL! By the way, that was a Truly Great Night. I’m glad I shared it with you, bud.
“Oh, my best friend can do that too.”
My best friend has superpowers. She can make everything alright merely by existing. She makes me feel immediately better just by *thinking* about how good it’d be if I could call her and tell her my problems. She can make me feel like the smartest person in the universe just by asking me questions and listening to me. I know a lot of people think she does not exist, or that I have many, many best friends because its always, “Oh, my best friend is an amazing photographer. She draws too.” Or “I got a friend that plays at least four instruments really well too.” “My friend’s a bartender. In Japan.” “Yeah, my best friend can speak five languages, at least.” “Sound engineering? Hey, my best friend’s a sound engineer, y’know.” “Wow, I got a friend who’s an X-Files fan too!”. No one realizes that I am usually talking about the same person, or if they do I bet they think I’m making up this incredible person that can do everything under the sun. Probably because of this : “What she’s studying? Oh, uh- some computer thing. I’m not sure. Multimedia or something like that. Dunno.” Shrug. LOL!
“Happy Birthday, bud” “You mean, belated.” “Uh, yeah.”
13/11/2005, 9 pm (One day after Red’s Birthday, which Imissed was not online for)
Red : Hey
Grac : ?
Red : how come you don't change your blog colour on my bday?!
Grac : lol- then everyone'd expect me to do it for their birthdays... if it helps, i wore red yesterday
Red : no it doesn't help
Grac : hm- i'll write ya an epic poem and post a pic of me in my red underwear for you then
Red : agreed
Ah, jealousy rears its rather unattractive head which vaguely looks like yours. LOL! Kidding, dude. How could you possibly be jealous when you know you’ll always be the only one? *snorts* (Heh. Sap Alert!) I could never write you a poem. How could I ever fit you into the confines of one? Poems mean meters and rhythm and all sorts of rules that would never fit everything I want to say about you. Thus, I write you this love letter. The first and only love letter I’d ever write to a human being not related to me by blood. And if you know me like you do, you’d know that I’d never write love letters to anyone else till I’m very certain the Husband ain’t gonna leave me and its too late to anyway. I’m not the sort who’d get a tattoo of their boyfriend’s names on their arses.
Happy belated birthday, dude. It’ll be a great year for you, I’m certain. How dare it be otherwise?
All my love*,
Grace
PS – *Not like that, you pervs.
PPS - Cheer up, They can’t be there forever… if they are, give me their address and I’ll TP their house up over here. It’s rainy season now and I’ll use good quality 4-ply toilet paper.
--------------------------
Quote from our IM sessions.
Red : Dude…
Red : I can't believe that I have nothing paranoid to tell you
Grac : finally.
Grac : our lives are perfect.
Scene from real life (August 2005)
[Scene : Red and Grac meet up for the first time after a whole year of Red being in Japan. Red pulls up in her car to Grac's house. Grac opens car door with goofy grin.]
Grac : Hey.
Red : Hey. Where're we going?
Grac : Dunno. Up to you.
Red : Mamak?
Grac : Cool.
Red : Where?
Grac : Just drive.
(And I swear, I'm not making these up. I have no need to.)
--------------------------
“Everything’s gonna be alright.”
There was a birthday party in my house. I am not very fond of having birthday parties and I’m none-too-crazy about birthdays either. Think about it- what are you *really* celebrating? The miracle of birth is just too squicky when it involves me, regardless of whether I’m the birther or birthee. Nevertheless, I am thankful that my mother passed me through her birth canal rather successfully. Congratulations all ‘round- happy birthday, me. Woo. But I digress, there is just something indefinable about birthdays that make me solemn and introspective. (And it not the issue of aging, either.)
Anyhow, as I was saying- there I was preparing for this big birthday bash of mine in my introspective mood and close to tears (I really didn’t know why). Chan Foong Yee arrived and told me that Red was on her way. It was like a palpable weight off my shoulders and I was instantly relieved, thinking “Red’s coming. Everything is going to be okay now.” I was soon swamped with the stress of entertaining, preparing food and getting into truly heart-breaking arguments with family members- all this whilst crying like crazy in front of everybody. I mean, there were tears and snot running about unchecked and I was practically wailing. I actually cried myself awake (and I’m truly glad this has happened to me only twice in my life). The dream was just so upsetting that I was still crying softly, bewilderedly wiping at the tears. The details escaped me, but the emotions did not. Right then, all I could recall was that dream!Red was on her way and that she would make everything alright.
“Boy, I wish I could call her”
If something bad happens to me or I get into trouble- mouth dry, heart thumping, stomach in throat; all I gotta do is think “Boy, I wish I could call Red and tell her” and I’d feel better immediately (well, eventually). I’d calm down slightly and laugh at how she’d probably call me an idiot and we would proclaim it ‘The Worst Day Of My Life’ or ‘The Stupidest Thing I’ve Ever Done’. Sometimes, its ‘The Stupidest Thing I’ve Ever Done On The Worst Day Of My Life’. That’s a big one and usually requires at least two hours of being cussed out and eventually being teased over it till I laugh. If something great happens to me or I see something that makes me happy, I’d itch to call her as well to share the joy. The happy event becomes euphoric just by thinking about calling and telling her. Not that she’d be in fits of delight or ecstasies. More often than not, she’d just grunt at my tale and go “so desu ka?”
It’s funny. Judging by my Raving of Red, you must think we speak daily, do you not? Heh. Sorry to disappoint, but we hardly speak or even see each other online with any sort of frequency, if at all. Our phone calls to each other are mostly long periods of silence, but we try not to do it so much anymore. We met in secondary school but were never in the same classes or sports house- we suspect the teachers must have had a hand in this. The only reason why I signed up for softball was so that we could at least be in the same club before our final year. And that one afternoon a week of tossing the dumb ball back and forth for hours was our idea of doing something fun together. Actually, I think the only picture we have together is that grainy tiny-assed Kelab Softball photo in the school magazine. I don’t recall taking any other pictures together, do you? And you call yourself a photographer. Hello? Willing best friend model here!
College meant Subang Taipan for Red and smackdab downtown K-Hell for me- opposite sides of the universe. We’ve only ever watched two or three movies together (Mousehunt and Stuart Little, can you believe it?) I’ve been to her house six times and had dinner there once. She’s been to mine
“Oh, my best friend can do that too.”
My best friend has superpowers. She can make everything alright merely by existing. She makes me feel immediately better just by *thinking* about how good it’d be if I could call her and tell her my problems. She can make me feel like the smartest person in the universe just by asking me questions and listening to me. I know a lot of people think she does not exist, or that I have many, many best friends because its always, “Oh, my best friend is an amazing photographer. She draws too.” Or “I got a friend that plays at least four instruments really well too.” “My friend’s a bartender. In Japan.” “Yeah, my best friend can speak five languages, at least.” “Sound engineering? Hey, my best friend’s a sound engineer, y’know.” “Wow, I got a friend who’s an X-Files fan too!”. No one realizes that I am usually talking about the same person, or if they do I bet they think I’m making up this incredible person that can do everything under the sun. Probably because of this : “What she’s studying? Oh, uh- some computer thing. I’m not sure. Multimedia or something like that. Dunno.” Shrug. LOL!
“Happy Birthday, bud” “You mean, belated.” “Uh, yeah.”
13/11/2005, 9 pm (One day after Red’s Birthday, which I
Red : Hey
Grac : ?
Red : how come you don't change your blog colour on my bday?!
Grac : lol- then everyone'd expect me to do it for their birthdays... if it helps, i wore red yesterday
Red : no it doesn't help
Grac : hm- i'll write ya an epic poem and post a pic of me in my red underwear for you then
Red : agreed
Ah, jealousy rears its rather unattractive head which vaguely looks like yours. LOL! Kidding, dude. How could you possibly be jealous when you know you’ll always be the only one? *snorts* (Heh. Sap Alert!) I could never write you a poem. How could I ever fit you into the confines of one? Poems mean meters and rhythm and all sorts of rules that would never fit everything I want to say about you. Thus, I write you this love letter. The first and only love letter I’d ever write to a human being not related to me by blood. And if you know me like you do, you’d know that I’d never write love letters to anyone else till I’m very certain the Husband ain’t gonna leave me and its too late to anyway. I’m not the sort who’d get a tattoo of their boyfriend’s names on their arses.
Happy belated birthday, dude. It’ll be a great year for you, I’m certain. How dare it be otherwise?
All my love*,
Grace
PS – *Not like that, you pervs.
PPS - Cheer up, They can’t be there forever… if they are, give me their address and I’ll TP their house up over here. It’s rainy season now and I’ll use good quality 4-ply toilet paper.
--------------------------
Quote from our IM sessions.
Red : Dude…
Red : I can't believe that I have nothing paranoid to tell you
Grac : finally.
Grac : our lives are perfect.
Scene from real life (August 2005)
[Scene : Red and Grac meet up for the first time after a whole year of Red being in Japan. Red pulls up in her car to Grac's house. Grac opens car door with goofy grin.]
Grac : Hey.
Red : Hey. Where're we going?
Grac : Dunno. Up to you.
Red : Mamak?
Grac : Cool.
Red : Where?
Grac : Just drive.
(And I swear, I'm not making these up. I have no need to.)
--------------------------