Thursday, March 24, 2005

How I Spent My Mission Trip Vacation

(Everyone else copped out of writing by posting a massive amount of pictures, which I can't even load up.)

Well, I got no pictures of my own to show, but I got lots of random stuff captured up in my head. Here goes:

~ being constantly hungry because of the cold air, and subsequently eating the most disgusting amount of fried fatty foods because there simply was nothing else.

~ we really should have a seperate mission trip to impart the Mamak-Lepak culture.

~ shushing everyone all the time til' I was blue in the face. I think I made more noise shushing people than they did talking and slamming doors. Can vomit blood, I tell you.

~whose bright idea was it to have both boys and girls share a floor above American-missionary-from-Heck-with-sleeping-baby-daughter? (ooh, s'like a Malibu Barbie with accessories)

~ Auntie Julie, the local dealer- cornering us with a bag full of garlic pills and vitamin C. Woe to anyone who looked vaguely pale or sounded sniffly.

~ oh, ew- Auntie Julie and Uncle Jose with their sneaking into rooms at night and tying her up with his nimble fingers conversation. TMI. Get it out of my head! Getitoutgetitout!

~ watching Jamie and Esther Tan bimb-bond over eye-curlers and cosmetics seconds before passing the metal detectors and boarding was such a surreal experience.

~ watching Jamiroquai MTVs on Lois' bed early in the morning whilst everyone was still asleep.

~ watching Lois get away with murder and all sorts of things with that cute voice of hers.

~ watching Lois sell/give away an astounding number of CDs in that cute voice of hers. "You want T-shirt? You buy 10 CDs I give you a free shirt." We were out in the cold and smog selling CDs to the people outside. That girl just lights up at the prospect of making money.

~ baiting and teasing Melissa Wong all the time. *ALL* the time, I tell you. There was no rest for either of us. Poor girl.

~ dodging her ThingThing while she waves it around. Disgusting rag.

~ invading Angie's bunk and eating chocolate in it when she couldn't have any.

~ did an award-winning chocolate commercial in front of Angie and Geri. (Sundance, here I come.) "First, there's the crunchy peanuts, right? Its held together by chewy caramel, and then they cover it with, like, creamy milk chocolate. And oh, look- it's crumbling in my mouth. MmmMm. Oh, oops- missed a bit here."

~ I don't even like chocolate that much.

~ thanks for the Bunny Bearista, Nee.

~ I can be such the Bimb. It's like, I can talk with, like, the accent? And, like, end everything with, like, a question mark? Like, oh my gawd? You hafta get me to do it for you someday. Its utterly appalling.

~ giggling like a lunatic with Pastor Carey in the back of a jeepney over something-I-can't-remember-what and then realizing that the exhaust fumes has truly affected all our brains.

~ posing Assilem's 64-joint Spiderman into vulgar and rude positions to cheer her up after a tiring day. It works, what can I tell you?

~ there's nothing like Hot Cup Maggi Noodles after a long, sucky day. There's nothing like eating hot Tomyam noodles in front of people who can't have any because they're singing the next day.

~ watching Andrew Cheong and Eu Jin eat an average of 5 Dunkin Donuts each and subsequently enjoying the giggly, hyper sugar high while we walked SM.

~ walking 'round SM with Andrew 'Gamo' Cheong and eating our way through.

~ sneaking off from the convention centre illicitly with Ken Han to buy Starbucks for Uncle Jose to cheer him up during that sucky second night.

~ cheap Starbucks make for a happy Grac. 'Cause she's cheap.

~ margaritas for lunch and realizing that church guys can't outdrink church girls even if they tried.

~ there are no cows in Baguio. Pigs, chickens, pigs, the occasional prawn... but no cows.

~ not able to sleep, I stood barefoot in the corridor at 3 in the morning and finished writing 'Wonder'. In my boxer shorts and striped sleep shirt.

~ speaking of boxer shorts, it's fun saying: "Yes, I have a hole/slit/flap in the front of my boxer shorts because it facilitates peeing had I a (male body part)." when people ask.

~ I have the best Sunday School group EVER! Give or take a few hiccups, they're so much more than I expected or asked for. Where else but Group 6 would you find a bunch of girls shrugging at the exhaust fumes, heat or cold? Where the words "Breathe only, lar" or "Stuffy meh?" in a matter-of-fact tone of voice became the motto? Where none of them made faces or even bothered to cover their mouths or noses at the fumes? They are such troopers!

~ Andrew Lee, the only guy in my group (not counting ASSilem) is just amazing. I systematically abused him by making him carry stuff all throughout the trip- including my shopping. All I do is to stuff my things into his bag and it dutifully ends up neatly on my bunk. Heh. He just does everything he's told without question.
"Andrew, tell a testimony about your sordid past." I hiss at him when we started to run out of things to teach.
His eyes widen slightly, "Hah?"
"Like how you were bad before you knew Jesus."
"But I was a really good boy!" he protests weakly.
"I know. Just make it up!"
And there but for the grace of God, he went.
It was a pretty good testimony too.

~ the sheer entertainment value of hearing 30 kids go: "Lois! Loooiis!! Baa!" when asked, "Where's Lois? Everyone, call out for the missing Lois Sheep!"

~ Mandy and the most irritating loud quacking noises. If it weren't part of the script and I weren't so impressed at how she was really getting into being a duck, I'd smack her. Thank you Mandy, for playing dead on the dirt courtyard without complaining. She really has to be one of the best troopers ever. She takes care of Tanya when I can't, tells everyone to suck it up and stop complaining. That girl embodies stoicism.

~ I don't look for my sheep. They know my voice and come to me. That's my excuse for being a poor shepherd.

~ "I *like* SM." and "Got strawberry flavor also, right?" Tanya- who would've thought? I'll treasure Mun Yee's reaction to the 'strawberry' comment forever.

~ waking up every morning at 6:50 am sharp. Freaky.

~ waking up swearing profanely every morning thinking its already 10 plus, judging by the sun in the sky.

~ apparently, Ken Han took a bullet for me in Vietnam when we were stationed there with Charlie. The sheer amount of bullets he took for everyone else should've rightly killed him. Wish it did.

~ I know this has been repeated all through cyberspace, but I just have to- "Deeply loved, greatly breast, highly flavored on the Lord!"

~ Lydia, my fellow Nazi encampment-survivor-sister. How we've suffered from the days where we had to drink boot soup and glass bread in Auschwitcz. The long marches through sleet and snow in the ill-fitting aforementioned boiled boots...

~ speaking of survivors, watching Geri do the "I'm a Survivor" dance was simply priceless. And after such a harrowing experience of being stuck with a broken down jeepney. Geri- the Victim Of Carbon Monoxide Poisoning! The mountain air made her so hyper, I hardly knew what to make of her.

~ and of course, Ange- the Girl Who Will Never Hit Her Head On The Roof Of A Jeepney Standing Up Straight And/Or Jumping! Ankle Biter Choo!

~ we must also list these down lest we forget- " Precious Yam- the Amazing Bottomless Pit!" and "Melissa Sim- the Only Beauty *haacck coughcough* ".

~ speaking of the the Amazing Bottomless Pit, did you know she wolfed down no less than 4 MacDogs? Oh, sorry- MacDos. It's more marketable without the 'G', isn't it? Mystery meat galore!

~ if you wonder why you have no title, its 'cause you didn't come visit me in my dorm room often enough.

~ sitting in the corridor on the final night playing Bingo and building card houses, trying to keep awake.

~ cringing in the plane on the way home when I finally realised how truly, loudly jakun we are en massse.

Good trip ya'll. Let's do this again soon.