A segment of “Grace, Get A Life”; proudly brought to you by Grac's Coffee High. This comes with a nerd alert; batteries not included.

Music In My Head

My entire life is musically scored. When I walk, my tempo depends solely on th’ song in my head an’ th’ type of percussions. Big band jazz seems to be a big favorite- I love to swing. Following closely is my ‘don’t-mess-with-me’ heavy metal / bass & drums. Placid days will vary from traditional Irish jigs to new age Enya. Glorious angst invokes anything from Morrisette-like heart screaming to tear-inducing Groban. Joseph Arthur, M-R-A-Z! Good Charlotte. The genius that is White Stripes. I LOVE guitars; classical mellowness, upbeat acoustic, distorted twanging, feedback squealing… I love it all.

I totally get the top-40s buzz now. I used to despise being 'trendy'- pop culture is sooo conformist, I couldn't stand it. But now, I bob my head to Maroon 5 and "Hey Ya!". Tap my foot to Black Eyed Peas... lip-sync with heartrending, pointless Coldplay. Cringe an shudder when I realize I can sing Britney, Hillary and boyband songs. Eurgh. Am such the trendy little conformist, its sickening.

When I get insane or tired, there’s th’ nursery rhymes and monotonous humming. I’d hum tunelessly and repetitively. When I’m peppy, chipper or just unnaturally high, I’d whistle. It doesn’t matter what. Th’ Nutcracker suite is a big hit with me. Precision whistling, I call it. But nothing is as difficult as Grande Valse Brilliante. Th’ running notes itself will do you in. Chopin’s Nocturne No. 9 on rainy days, a baroque canon for days that don’t seem to end, Shostakovich or Bartok for those stilted, weird days when everything seems to go wrong. Am learning Flight Of The Bumblebee... now, that's tough t'whistle to.

And there are th’ musicals. Phantom is HUGE with me. I can sing th’ entire musical in my head an’ do th’ character voices as well. I get weird stares when I yellin’ “… down once more to the dungeon of my dark despair, down we plunge to the prison of my mind…” I love that song. Other old favorites- Les Miserables: especially “…but you will live ‘Ponine, dear god above…”. It’s pretty effective when you start emoting that song with th’ proper ‘whygawdwhy’ hand gestures and singing it at th’ top of your voice. Gets you all worked up and properly angsty. Miss Saigon: A point of irritation here for me. Why does my mom yell at me when I start belting out “The heat is on in Saigon th’ girls are hotter than hell… // …we should get drunk an’ get laid, since the end is so near” but never bites into my bro when he does the same? Even when he yodels th’ Engineer’s whore-mongering songs, he doesn’t get into trouble. It’s not fair, I tell you. Ooh, oh- I totally loved that BtVS musical: Once More With Feeling! I can sing th' whole thing too! Disney cartoons don’t count as musicals, but I know ‘em all anyway. All time favorite Disney bit: “I’ve a girl back home who’s none like any other.” “Yeah, the only girl who’d love him is his mother”. Know where that came from?

Speaking of maternal fondness, my God-fearing charismatic mom said that when I was born she prayed to TPTB to put, quote: a new song in my heart every morning, unquote. *snarkles* Bet she didn’t know that I woke up with “Yankee Doodle” today. Or “She Hates Me” yesterday (I swear I could hear that G.C/Em.A.D opening riff like it came from the radio).

Parting words: “Stuck a feather in his cap and called it Macaroni”. Whut in great googly moogly is Mr Doodle calling Macaroni? Th’ town? Feather? Cap? Strangely enough, ‘Yankee Doodle’ snapped me into instant wakefulness. You should try it.